The Big Ole Vegan Mountains

I have gotten a lot of fanfare for this lyrical re-write of the Americana classic “Big Rock Candy Mountain.” In this version I imagine a vegan paradise with vegan dreams as big as the drunken dreams of the narrator in the original. Scroll down for lyrics.

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The Big Ole Vegan Mountains

One morning as the sun came up and the factory farms was burning
Down the road came a mama with a lamb and she said “Boys I ain’t turning.
I’m headed for a land that’s far away where the folks are more enlightened.
So come with me and we’ll go see the big ole Vegan Mountains!”

In the big ole Vegan Mountains the animals are free
The lambs lay with the lions and the birds buzz with the bees
You can cock-a-doodle-do with a rooster, you can cuddle with a cow
Face downward with a dog, haggle with a hog
You can network with the monkeys on their jungle blog
In the big ole Vegan Mountains

In the big ole Vegan Mountains the meat’s all analogue
The Americans eat faux chicken and the Chinese eat faux dog
The cheese is made from cashews and the ice cream is Coconut Bliss
The ocean breeze blows through Mango trees
And chocolate rivers lined with strawberries
In the big ole Vegan Mountains

In the big ole Vegan Mountains the are no ingredient lists
Because everything is natural and allergies don’t exist
And the mushrooms all are magic and the girls all like to kiss
And the dungarees are cruelty-free
made with hemp and cotton grown organically
In the big ole Vegan Mountains

In the big ole Vegan Mountains the brainwashers are broke
And “where do you get your protein from?” is just an old time joke
Because our bones are strong from the calcium that’s abundant in our greens
And we get all we need from the sun and the sea
That nourishes our soil where we sew our seeds
In the big ole Vegan Mountains

And I’ll see you all when the government falls
In the big ole Vegan Mountains